Dreaming With A Broken Heart
by PINKpassion309
Summary: Peeta both loved and hated the nights he dreamt that Katniss loved him. The happiness he felt was so exquisite he couldn't imagine anything better. But when he woke the pain was intense and left him wishing for things that could never be.


**I don't own the Hunger Games or Dreaming With A Broken Heart by John Mayer. If you haven't heard it already, I suggest you check it out because it's a really beautiful song.**

_When you're dreaming with a broken heart,_

_The waking up is the hardest part._

_You roll outta bed, and down on your knees, _

_And for the moment you can hardly breathe._

Dreaming of Katniss was both the most pleasurable and the most painful thing Peeta had ever done. Before she had told him that her kisses and emotional words were for the cameras, nothing could have been better than reality. He still dreamt of her at night but when he woke actually being with her was so much better, because dream Katniss could never compare to the real Katniss. But now that he knew the truth, dream Katniss was all Peeta had.

Every night Peeta saw visions of Katniss. Mostly they were nightmares of the death and horror of the Hunger Games. Sometimes she laughed at him for ever believing she could love him. The most torturous dreams, however, were the ones in which Katniss and he were in a relationship. She would confess her love and really mean it. When she kissed him, it wasn't to appease the wealthy sponsors in the Capitol, it was an expression of the passion between them. These dreams were the pinnacle of happiness. Peeta could imagine nothing greater than having Katniss return the love he felt for her.

But inevitably he would wake up. The beauty of his dreams paralyzed him. Breathing became a concentrated effort.

_Wondering was she really here?_

_Is she standing in my room?_

Reality would never hit instantly. He would lie there, wondering why Katniss wasn't with him or where she had gone. But slowly the harsh truth settled over him.

_No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone…_

She wasn't in his room. She was in her house doing anything but love him. She had never loved him and all of the sweet, perfect things he had dreamed of were horrible lies.

_When you're dreaming with a broken heart, _

_The giving up is the hardest part. _

It was after those dreams that he felt his loss most acutely. When he imagined the wonderful life they could have together, it made her rejection of his love so much more impossible to bear. How could he just let her go? He knew he would never stop loving her. But what happened when someone else was able to do that which he had failed at: gaining her heart? His family expected him to get married and have children but there was no other girl that he could even think of marrying without feeling like he was betraying Katniss and himself in the worst possible way.

_She takes you in with your crying eyes_

_Then all at once you have to say goodbye. _

They often crossed paths, but it was the day after these dreams that seeing her was the hardest. If she bothered to look at him, she would see his red, puffy eyes from hours of crying.

Every time he saw her, his heart sped up and he started sweating. He tried desperately to think of something to say to her, but always failed. And then before he really had a chance to do anything, she was gone without a backwards glance.

_Wondering could you stay my love?_

_Will you wake up by my side? _

He would stand there, stunned, looking after her retreating form, silently pleading for her to stop running away. To stay with him.

_No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone…_

But she wouldn't. She was already gone. Going towards her family or Gale or Haymitch and leaving him behind.

_Now do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand? _

_Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hand? (3x) _

_Baby won't you get them if I did?_

_No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone…_

Once in a while, he would see her in the street and forget that she didn't want him too. It just didn't seem possible that things he had seen so vividly weren't real. Sometimes he felt he could communicate with her better when he was sleeping. But then he would wake up and she wouldn't know or care how happy she could make him.

_When you're dreaming with a broken heart_

_The waking up is the hardest part._

Peeta both loved and hated the nights he dreamed that Katniss loved him. The happiness he felt in those dreams was so exquisite he couldn't imagine anything better. But when he woke the pain was as intense as it was unrelenting and it left him wishing for things that would never be. Not really anyway, cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone...


End file.
